Well as the last blog stated I was going to try to blog atleast once a week. Well I was going to try, and it didn't happen. LOL. Life happens! Let's see, where I left off, over a month ago! Can you believe it?
Well I have been working overtime again, some days working close to 12 hours a day. It is tiring sitting at the computer for 12 hours. I don't even want to get on my laptop when I get home because of it. I feel like such an old person. Some days I am so exhausted.
My lap-band surgery has been scheduled for Tuesday Sept 4, 2012. I start my pre-op diet of protein shakes Tuesday August 21, 2012. I am so stoked! I can't wait to start feeling better!!! I am slowly getting things in order. I am setting myself up for SUCCESS!!! not failure! I got a few blender bottles for my protein shakes. I got sand timers, to help me slow down while I eat, waiting between bites, and to help me chew more, so my food is smaller when it goes down. I am also going to get smaller plates, and smaller bowls. So since my portions will be smaller, it will 'look' like I am not depriving myself of my usual portions. I have to start eating with a baby fork and spoon, after my surgery. It forces you to take smaller bites. I have to learn to not drink with my meals, and SLOW DOWN while I eat. I really want to be successful at this. Can you tell? I am posting a weightloss ticker on my blog so I can keep track. I am also keeping a food journal when I start my preop diet. They say you should keep track of your food for atleast the first 6-9 until you get a good portion of your weight down. I am also keeping a list of foods that I will regularly eat, with their nutritional values. That way I have a handy list right at my fingertips, so I know what my food is, and I am accountable!
I have also found that I love the Wii game console. We don't have one at home, and up until last week, I have never played on one. We were holding a game contest at work, and they have the Wii there for us to play on our lunches and breaks to promote exercise and movement away from your desk. So I actually used the Wii for an hour. It was great! I loved it. I played bowling, sword fighting, ski jumping, etc. I LOVE SWORDFIGHTING!!! Let's just say I was "hurtin' for certain" for two days after! I do know that I need to lose alot before I can actually workout like that, because of the pain in my hips, legs, knees, ankles and feet. So I am focusing on the games right now that work on your upper body, until I can lose poundage after my surgery. I played two times this week for an hour on the Wii, at work, on my lunch. I did canoing, air plane flying, sky diving, basketball, jet ski driving, etc. Just so I could work something on my body. I was still sweating even though I wasn't on my feet. So that was good. I have decided that when I get to 225lbs, I will start working out regularly at the gym. That is a weight loss of considerable pounds and should help me be more energetic with alot less pain.
My birthday was yesterday, as you all know. Your facebook reminds you. :) I am not good at posting happy birthday wishes to people. But I try. I turned 37. I don't feel 37. I wonder if I look it. lol. What does 37 look like anyways?
My left wrist got its second shot of cortisone-type medicine. That makes a total of 2 shots in each wrist now. The Dr says the next step is surgery on my wrists/thumbs, that there are no other solutions for what is wrong with them. I am not looking forward to that day. Let me tell you.
Angel is doing great! Getting so big. and so smart. She starts kindergarten in 2 weeks. It just does not seem real.
So now to the question at hand.... Who am I... really? I have been trying to figure that out for a while now. As you get older, and life takes over... some of us lose ourselves. We lose ourselves in our marriage, our job, kids, pets, the bills we have to pay, the bills we can't pay, we have to eat to survive, we need gas so we can get to work to make the paycheck to pay the things that we can afford. And pray the things we can't afford can wait til next payday. And we realize that things change as you get older. The things you once thought would never change... do. Like me living here in Illinois. I never in my life imagined that I would move away from my family 3 years ago, but I did. I never thought I would have a daughter, but I do. And I wouldn't change her adoption for the life of me. I never thought I would be in a different state for 3 years and still not have made friends. Don't get me wrong. I made a couple acquaintances over the past 3 years, but haven't really made a friend-friend here in Illinois. I know that with this weight loss, I will find myself again and who I used to be when I was younger. As I have gotten older and bigger, I have become close to antisocial in some ways. I don't want to be antisocial. I want to make friends, but right now, I know my weight makes me shy away from that and I don't trust easily anymore.
I am thankful for all my friends no matter where you are! And thank you to Shadow, Melly, Alicia, Polly, Bandiceet, and the rest of the HW clan that stuck with me for so long! Thank you! I know you are there for me even today if I need to talk, no matter how long its been!
So part of my weight loss journey is finding myself again, and keeping me! I hate feeling lost! Don't get me wrong. I know where I am in life. I have a wonderful wife, an awesome daughter, a good job, a roof over our heads, and food on our table... however... I am missing ME.
Well I guess this is all for this time....
HUGS!!!
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